Mujahid Asari Dokubo Is A Big Fat Idiot. And A Liar By Bayo Oluwasanmi

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Despicable rhetoric and the phony arrest of outlawed leader of Niger Delta People’s Volunteer Force (NDPVF) Mujahid Asari Dokubo made headlines this past two weeks. But one would have to be a retarded monkey to take his endless histrionics polemics and diatribes serious.
Why are Nigerians subjected to watching the outburst of a lunatic who is balder, fatter, and dull-witted on regular basis? Why does Nigerian public accommodate the eccentricity of a drop out? How long do we have to put up with his abuse and threats every time? When the big, fat, idiot liar is not distorting the truth, he’s encouraging ethnic insurgencies and scheming sectarian wars. Do we have to listen to a backward thinking, ill informed, restless and senseless thug with no culture and moral values?

 

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Can we just be spared of the insanity from watching nauseating repeated episodes from Dokubo’s theater of the absurd? In November last year, he was arrested in the Benin Republic. As expected, Mr. Jonathan intervened and promptly secured his release after spending only 36 hours in the Benin jail and swiftly dispatched a jet from the presidential fleet to bring the coconut head and shrimp face Dokubo to Abuja.
Nigerians are no strangers to Dokubo’s one-man Jihad. Samples from his nonsensical gibberish:
January 2012: In the wake of the “Occupy Nigeria” protest against the federal government’s hike in fuel prices, Mr. Jonathan turned to Dokubo to coordinate intimidation of PENGASSAN labor union activists for the nation-wide strike. Dokubo didn’t blink for a second: “Oil platforms will be occupied by Niger Delta militants if PENGASSAN decides to shut down production in solidarity with the ongoing labor strike,” Dokubo threatens the labor leaders. “If the Niger Delta people are not good enough to be part of good governance in Nigeria,” says angry Dokubo, “then our oil and gas of the Niger Delta people is not good enough for Nigeria.”
May 2013: The renegade Dokubo threatened that if he was arrested Nigeria would become history. “I’m not afraid of arrest,” the boastful Dokubo declares, “I am saying it bold and clear without mincing words, that the consequences of my arrest, Nigeria will become history.”
January 2014: He called President Olusegun Obasanjo the “Chief Assassin of all times” in response to the former president’s letter to Mr. Jonathan. “I wonder why you, the Chief Assassin of all times, would accuse President Goodluck of training 1000 snipers and having a watchlist of political opponents … Finally, your evil plot to put me away before 2015 general election failed in the Republic of Benin,” says Dokubo.
And now this: “APC must field a South-South Candidate or we will make Nigerian ungovernable,” Dokubo insists. “It will make sense if APC picks its presidential candidate from the South-South. With that, there will be no battle or us to fight and it will make it easier for us. Whichever way it goes, it will enable us to continue our right of uninterrupted rule of eight years, which is the minimum constitutional requirement.”
Dokubo also vows that the defeat of Jonathan in a free and fair election would trigger crisis. “Jonathan cannot be defeated, they cannot defeat him, they don’t have the right, every part of the country must have equal stake in the presidency of the country.”
The uninformed and unintelligent Dokubo enjoys spewing ethnic hatred and division in defense of President Goodluck Jonathan. Dokubo’s war drums is reminiscent of the run-up to US attack on Iraq with the now famous “shock and awe” combined with pre-war propaganda. “If it is war the North wants, we are ready for them because Jonathan must complete the mandatory constitutionally allowable two terms of eight years. At home, we have regrouped and we have put our people at alert. In less than one hour, the way we would strike, the world will be shocked. If anybody does anything against Jonathans, we will retaliate. What we will do will shock the whole world. We will cripple the economy of the country not only in the creeks, but also on the nation’s territorial water, no vessel will be allowed to enter Nigeria’s territorial waters,” Dokubo threatens.
Saying “We will cripple the economy of the country …” Well, Dokubo what do you think you have been doing all this time? You have crippled the economy! For your relentless harassment of Nigerians look at how much you and your cousins are being paid every year: Dokubo $9million, Afeke Toms and Boyloaf $3.5million each, and Tompolo $22.5million. The economy is wrapped in tatters and rags – can’t you see?
No doubt, the intention of Dokubo’s propaganda was to obtain a specified psychological effect – to terrify Nigerians into the conviction that resistance to Mujahid’s rebellion would be futile, and that Nigerians would capitulate at the first strike, if not before.
Only in Nigeria can the type of Dokubo – an anachronistic belligerent with shrilled tone that’s so mean spirited – with such a limited understanding of people, ideas, politics, and civilized engagement, attract so much publicity and huge following by his loyal Ijaw people. In the society of civilized human beings, by now Dokubo would be history in the cellar! But given the prosaic political leadership in the country, it is not surprising that we will always have a spokesperson like Dokubo for the fools.
From his unguarded outbursts, Dokubo is the enormously talented pimp providing sound bites to idiots. He is the political aphrodisiac that jazz up his company of fools and other pathetic self-deceivers. In my judgment, Dokubo is in a category of pickpockets and braggarts. He’s a con man who is skillful and manipulative.
If Dokubo believed all he says, then he is an idiot because the way he conducts and manages his unenviable life full of miseries and misfortunes do not reflect a man with sound mind and sound judgment. Does he know when is lying or does it come so naturally to him that he doesn’t notice? Is it possible for us to hook Dokubo up to one of the lie detectors and other brain scan gadgets and watch whatever riot that might be taken place in his brain?
He sees conspiracies in anything critical of Mr. Jonathan. He spreads visceral hate and fear-mongering. He spews hate like a belch of smoke from Olumo Rock. Like the devious oil salesman that he is, Dokubo is very calculating. He deliberately uses and misleads his “dittoheads.” The irreverent and tongue-lashing Dokubo pays hilarious homage to foolishness and stupidity. Awful and always with absurd claims, forged and fraudulent ideas, he’s a prime mover behind the presidency that skews a whole new crop of crisis manufacturers. A moron and a scum of the earth, he intentionally spread hateful views and disinformation that prevent meaningful debates.
Dokubo believes Ijaw people owns Nigeria because of the accidental location of oil wells in their backyard. Since Mr. Jonathan assumed the presidency no worthwhile transformation has taken place in Ijaw land with the so called oil money of the Ijaw people. Their environment remains as degraded as ever. Millions of jobless Ijaw youth are no different from their unemployed peers from around the country. The infrastructures are as ancient as the Delta. The farmers are as displaced as the fishes due to oil pollution. But for the few mercenaries like Dokubo, majority of the Ijaw people have been pulverized by poverty and disease. So, of what use is Dokubo’s threats of brim, stone and fire on behalf of the Ijaws if his god father Jonathan was not reelected? Dokubo has done nothing for his people aside from giving us all laughs at how stupid he is.
Dokubo is like Sanballat the great distracter in the Bible. Dokubo is a kind of pest that plagues our country today. He is a distracter who torments and do everything possible to interfere in the affairs of Nigeria. Like Sanballat, Dokubo knows that the renaissance of Nigeria under a cultured, emotionally stable, astute, visionary, and erudite leader would bring a major shift in political power and fortunes of Nigeria. Like Sanballat, Dokubo like the status quo and has a vested interest in Nigeria remaining a disrepair and underdeveloped nation so he set about his distracting agenda.
He first tried to drag Nigeria into a war of his choice with his ragtag NDPVF. It didn’t work. He started mocking and ridiculing critics and others who disagreed with the way Mr. Jonathan is running the country. That didn’t go far. This evil and resourceful leader of the proscribed NDPVF continually adjusts his strategies. Now his new tactics are embedded in fear, entrapment, and political maneuvering.
It seems easier to run from a challenge than to step out and take a risk. Dokubo is a textbook example of a person who expends time and energy only for personal gain.  Lazy and unmotivated, he fears the risk of being rejected, and doesn’t really know who he is.
Dokubo sensed that 2015 will change the political equation and destiny of Nigeria. Fully aware that problems and projects go together, that once the tide turns and his kinsman is thrown out of office and a new Nigeria is born, he reasoned that the quickest way to stop the democratic revolution in 2015 is to create fear in the minds of Nigerian voters.
Progressives and well-meaning Nigerians can learn valuable lessons from Dokubo’s assaults, threats, and schemes: expect distracters, don’t give them the time of day, starve them with propaganda and publicity, and keep the pressure on and don’t look back. 
 Millions of Dokubos cannot stop the urgency of now and the whirlwind of change that are lurking in the wings. The new militancy toward 2015 has begun. We cannot wait and we cannot be patient to see the fulfillment of long delayed and denied promise of democracy. One good thing though from Dokubo’s sheer sentimental rubbish is that it helps to restore our faith, polish our hope, and renew our activism for a better Nigeria.

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