Being a Seminar Presented by Mrs Ada Eze to the St. Pauls Catholic Parish Umuodagu Ntu Youths during Their Youth Week 18th-23rd August 2014
Pre-marital sex is referred to as sexual relation between two or more people prior to marriage. The meaning has shifted to all sexual relations a person had before a legal marriage.
Alternative terms for pre-marital sex include:
– Non-Marital sex.
– Young/Adolescent sex.
– Young-Adult sex.
Pre-marital sex can take the form of; – lesbianism, homosexuality, incest, masturbation, bestiality among others.
Today illicit sex is associated with millions of youths who are unaware of the dangers of pre-marital sex. Instead of youths to worship God with their precious time, they waste their time committing sin and destroying their future.
Ecclesiastes 12: 4 – “Remember now thy creator in days of thy youth while the evil days come not, nor the days draw nigh when thou shall say I have no pleasure in them”.
How/Why People Get Involved in Pre-Marital Sex
People find themselves in areas where lifestyle of boarder on committing sin. Places like the ghetto/slums or areas where there are no strict moral values, most of the time form part of the environment where youths learn evil ways fast. Therefore, things like smoking, rape, stealing pickpocketing, pre-marital sex, having girlfriends are some of the ridiculous practices seen in this kind of places.
Pre-marital sex also thrives in mixed schools. Having a lot of girls clustering around, send evil messages with peer groups encouraging one to have sex with as many girls as possible with the assurance that there will be no harm.
1Corinthians 16:9 “For a great door and effectual is opened unto me and there are many adversaries” –KJV.
Another reason young people indulge in pre-marital sex is their great curiosity to explore what sexual activity is all about. They do this without considering the damaging consequences. Here it may take the form of casual sex with one of the partners seeking to experience sex.
Cohabitation breeds sexual immorality. This has to do with couples living together in a long term relationship without marriage. Examples of people that fall into this category are betrothed couples who engage in sexual activity before the anticipated marriage.
Studies reveal that people who cohabit find it difficult to marry for obvious reasons. If that is the case, the question is why young people still cohabit?
It must be stated here also that the consequences of cohabitation is life-threatening and therefore should be avoided.
Consequences of Premarital Sex
Satan has caused much damage to the youths making them to commit fornication. Fornication is pre-marital sex. Damage which could not be repaired has been inflicted on young promising persons and the have to live with it for the rest of their lives.
God knows that there are dangers in pre-marital sex that is why He wants us to flee from youthful lust 2Timoty 2:22 “Flee youthful lusts but follow righteousness, faith, charity, and peace with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart”.
Sex is a powerful force that can destroy if not used properly. Like atomic power, sex is the most powerful creative force given to man. When atomic power is used correctly, it can create boundless energy, when it is used in the wrong way it destroys life. Sex is the same kind of powerful force. Sex is the gift from God to give us the greatest pleasure to help in creating deep companionship with one’s spouse and for procreation of the next generation. But if you play with this powerful force outside the bounds of marriage, it destroys you and those close to you.
– Sexual activity for young people arrests their psychological, social and academic development. Studies show that when young people engage in pre-marital sex, their academic performance declines and their social relationships with family and friends deteriorate. This is because adolescents are too immature to deal with the explosive sex drive and it tends to dominate their lives.
– Majority of women cannot enjoy sex outside the bonds of Marriage. Pre-marital sex usually takes place sneaking around in hidden places, dealing with the fear of being caught, the fear of pregnancy and feelings of guilt. All these worrisome factors undermine pleasure in premarital sex most especially in women.
– Virginity is to be given to the most important person in your life – the person you committed to stay forever in marriage. Your virginity is the most precious thing you have to your spouse. Once you lose it nothing in the world can bring it back.
Spiritual Effects of Pre-marital Sex
– It is a sin – 1Thessalonica 4:3 (for this is the will of God even your sanctification that you should abstain from fornication)
– 1Cor. 6:9 – No fornicator will enter into the kingdom of God.
– Colossians 3:5-6 – Fornicators attract the anger of God against themselves. It is a dangerous thing to fall into the hands of God.
Deuteronomy 22:13-21 – Penalty of fornication is death.
Matthew 5:32 – The sin of fornication is the only ground on which a man should divorce his married wife. Fornication is a very terrible sin as it affects all the body.
– Fornication brings more sin.
Most pre-marital sex ends up in pregnancy, sickness abandonment or sale of babies. The rate of abortion has increased because of increase in pre-marital sex. Involving in pre-marital sex is a sin of its own but committing abortion is murder. Almost all today’s youth must have committed murder before reaching age 25. Some of them abandon their babies in dustbins, gutters and other public places which is an increase to their original sin of fornication. Some secretly sale their babies to ready buyers who use such babies for rituals, or resale them to wealthy couples who could not bear their own children.
– It creates an ungodly soul tie
A soul tie is an agreement one enters with another that creates a special bond between two people. Soul ties are common and exist everywhere – husband and wife, parent and children, teacher and student, pastors and church members, employer and employees. Sex is not just a causal fun as most people think and take it to be. It is much more than that, it involves blood. The Bible says “Life is in the blood” Lev.17:14.
When you have sex with a person you have given a part of your life to that person and in return the person has given you a part of his own life in the spirit realm. In the spirit realm, two of you have become one. You start to share things in common. That is why disease, sickness, demons and many things and many things pass through during sexual intercourse. In addition, you have just created “a soul tie” between you and the person involved. Since God does not permit pre-marital sex, it becomes an “ungodly tie” in the sight of God. That is why some girls find a special liking or memory on the day of dis-virginity, the blood that flows out that day becomes the blood of the covenant or agreement. Genesis 34 Shechem the prince of the land of Hivite committed fornication with Dinah the daughter of Jacob. The soul of Shechem cleaves unto Dinah. First it was lust, and then came love, yet it was ungodly
– It fragmentize your soul
Since sexual intercourse creates soul ties, each person you have sex with you have given part of your heart or soul in the spiritual realm. That is why people who were promiscuous before settling down for marriage find it difficult settling down at all because their soul has been divided; always thinking of their relationships with their previous partners thus making it impossible for them to settle down for marriage. If a person has slept with a thousand persons in his life, his love, heart and several other things has been shared with these thousand persons. A close look at the society shows that wayward people find it difficult to have a fulfilled marriage life because they have shared their life with several people.
Most promiscuous people are involved in extramarital sex. They are never satisfied with one person just for no reason, always looking for their lost soul. It is dangerous engaging in pre-marital sex because it can affect your marriage in future.
– It passes demons to you
This is perhaps the most worrisome part of pre-marital sex. Demons and other problems gain entrance into your body through pre-marital sex.
1 Corinthians 6:16 “know ye not that he which is joined to a harlot is one body? For two saith He shall be one flesh. Have not heard how a serpent that was in another person was transferred to another in the course of sex. It passes demons to your generation. Any sin that becomes a habit is iniquity.
– It is a sin against your own body
Other sins are outside the body except the sin of fornication, 1Corinthians 6:18.
Fornication has the capacity of doing the flowing to you:
* You lose confidence.
* Diseases, sicknesses take over you.
* Your relationship with your family becomes unstable and lying sets in.
Pre-marital Sex Is Lust
Love is from God. It gives unconditionally and it can wait. Lust is from Satan. It is selfish and wants immediate gratification. Any man that loves you will never demand sex from you as a proof of your love for him. Love is patient, is long suffering and endures.
1John 4:7 Beloved let us love one another for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knowth God.
Many young people today have the spirit of Ammon 2nd Samuel 13:12-14. Beware!
Other Dangers of Pre-marital Sex
* Premature parenthood
* It makes you marry the wrong person who may not be supportive, friendly or compatible.
* Rejection, abandonment
* It kills your vision
Everybody that was involved in pre-marital sex in the Bible suffered punishment. Genesis 34: 26-27 and they slew Hamor and Shechem his son with the edge of the sword, and took Dinah out of Shechem’s house and went out. The sons of Jacob came upon the slain, and spoiled the city, because they had defiled their sister.
2nd Samuel 12:29 the servants of Absalom slew Ammon on the order of Absalom for raping his sister Tamah.
The only way to avoid the dangers of pre-marital sex is to abstain from it. Sex education has suggested the use of condom but statistics has shown that condom has failed in stopping dangers of illicit sex. Condom cannot stop the passage of demons during sexual intercourse. Our youths have taken pre-marital sex as a normal thing and a way of life. I want to sound this note of warning that it is devils device to destroy you people. Hear what the Bible say in Proverbs 14:12 there is a way that seemeth unto a man is right but the end is death
* Disassociate yourself from immoral/ungodly peer group.
* Try not to be idle.
* Beware of the type of film you watch.
* Make the Bible your closest companion and pray always.
* Take a personal decision to start living a life of purity and God will back you up.
* Mind what you drink – refrain from alcohol.